For You Gift
by Tokitoh
Summary: When multiple conversations and a minor illness fall upon Gojyo and Hakkai, the two of them get to wonder just what the actual meaning of their relationship is. Shoune ai/Yaoi warning.Set when Gojyo and Hakkai lived at Gojyo's house. *Now completed*
1. Sho Ichi

Title: For You Gift  
  
Author: ShaGojyoxChoHakkaiYaoiLvr  
  
Part: First of Third  
  
Rating: PG - 13  
  
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki  
  
Date: Began June 6, 2003; Ended June 10  
  
Pairing: (let's use our brains... try to figure it out)  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language  
  
Notes: My second actual Saiyuki fic. I'm just a hyper-active caffeine powered thriteen year old that plays solitaire too much and watches too much Lupin III for it to be good for my health. Ha ha. Please review and let me know what you think of it. Oh, and if you like this short fic, please read my other one entitled "Born to Be My Baby".  
  
It alternates between the characters' POV's.  
  
_______________  
  
Part First  
  
There have been times that I wonder if we are more than just friends sometimes. I mean we have been living together for nearly two years now and I start to wonder if that line between friendship and love had been blurred so badly that I have broken it and fallen in love with him. I know that I feel for him in a romantic way. I have no problem admitting that to myself. But him... I don't know how he feels about me for sure. I know that he wears that mask. I know that he bottles everything up and never removes the top to let it all out, even when he's alone. He knows that I know what he's done and all that shit. Sometimes I wish that he would just come to me and wrap his arms around me and cry into my shoulder. Let it all out. He should let it all out. It's unhealthy of him to keep his feelings bottled up; like a bird in a cage without a key made for the lock. And other times I wish that the only reason that he would run to me would be to tell me,   
  
"I love you!"  
  
Shit, what I would give for that. At times, I wish that I could read his mind. He's such an interesting person once you think about it and get to know him. I would know. Oh, trust me, I would know. He's as beautiful as he is smart, and that means he's gorgeous. He is. He really is. I wonder what would happen if I told him that? What would happen if I told him the only reason I'm up late when we're both home is because I'm looking at him and hearing him breathe? But he's so beautiful, how could anyone resist?   
  
I want to breach that barrier of the friendship sometimes. I want him and I to fall asleep in the same bed, safe in each other's arms, breathing into each other's ears. I want to capture his delicate pink lips with my own and hear him gasp as I kiss him. I want to be able to run my hands though that feather - soft mess of brown hair and tell him that I love every part of him. What would he say then? What would he do then?  
  
I wonder...  
  
***  
  
Is it hot in here because I do believe that my mind's topics have strayed far from the normal. I've been having increasingly strange dreams and they all have to do with the same man. Only, our daily lives have nothing to do with the dreams. In our regular lives, we're merely friends, right? Why, then, am I dreaming of making sweet love to that man over and over and over again? I wonder, but it gets me nowhere. It's trouble is all it is. Hah... I'm getting myself in trouble again... But I am the only one that can pull me out of it. Slap me out of it. Slap myself? No thank you.   
  
I wake in the early, early morning, near three or four, almost every morning from hearing screams in my dreams. They alternate, you know, from nightmares to paradise. I wake up in a cold sweat from both. It's so horrible. I've admitted to myself: I've fallen in love once more... but I can never hold anyone with these hands stained in sin ever again.   
  
But sometimes, I just wish that I could wrap my arms around that man and hold him there and listen to him breathing in my ear when he's fast asleep, or I whisper endearments of love into his.   
  
I wonder what his kiss feels like? Truth be told I've never kissed a man before. But that makes no difference. Gender shouldn't matter, yet people blow it far out of proportion and make a much larger deal out of it than they should. If they all thought like me, they would think different, or course; but we all know that things cannot be that easy, don't we?  
  
I long to have the words escape from my lips and reach his ears, "I love you!"  
  
I wonder how he feels about me...?  
  
***  
  
"You want some coffee or something?" I asked him one morning when we were both awake pretty early... I think it was sometime around nine o'clock. Hey, that's early for me.  
  
"No, thank you." He gave me that smile. That fake smile. I want to see a real smile come across his lips... and when it does, I want to capture it onto mine, too. When I see that real smile, I'll know. I'll know... 'cause it'll melt my heart.  
  
"Tea? Anything?" I advanced.  
  
"Tea sounds nice."  
  
"Green? That's really all that I've got." I laugh in the middle of the sentence at my own lack of variety. Hey, gimme a break. Oh, and while you give me one of those, give me three good reasons why I should have more than just Green Tea... Alright, shut it. I got three reasons: Him, him, him.   
  
"Sure. That's fine," he says.  
  
I can't keep my eyes off of him, for one reason or another. Whenever I pass in front of him, I have to look at him. Why? I've said it earlier. I'm surprised he hasn't asked me about anything I've done around him. I mean I practically flirt with him, for God's sake!  
  
Well, if he has noticed, he's chosen to keep that bottled up inside of him, too. And if he loves me, too, then we're just a couple of idiots in love because we'll never realize it. I get to wonder, though, how I could ever appeal to him in that way. Sure, I get the occasional dream where I wake up with a start in a sweat, but he's always there with me. I even started crying because I had a nightmare about my mother once and he was there for me. He knows how wierd I am. Actually, he's the only one that has truly accepted me and my messy lifestyle.   
  
***  
  
He keeps looking at me. To tell you the truth, I don't mind; I don't mind at all. I love to look into his eyes when he's talking to me and our eyes lock. Once we just stared at each other for about ten seconds and then he says, out of the blue, "Yo! How about a staring contest?" And he laughed so hard. That gave me the perfect excuse to stare into his eyes.   
  
Oh, I'm fooling myself with all of these thoughts. I'll pine for him till the day I die and he won't return any of it. I know he won't. How could he ever love a person like me, who has done all that I have?   
  
Oh, but wouldn't it be wonderful if we were lovers? We're living alone in the middle of the woods... never to be disturbed or bothered by anything but weather and other nature happenings. Stuck in the middle of nowhere with no one but him. That's where the clockhands stop and time stands still, while I am caught in the blissful confinement of the middle. The middle of forever: where the clockhands have trapped me. It really does feel like I have forever to spend with him. As far as I am concerned, that's just fine.  
  
Nothing could be better.  
  
Nothing would get any better than that. That would be perfect. A dream come true.  
  
But those dreams are nothing more than dreams. Those dreams and reality will never collide and we'll remain strictly friends, unless he or I act otherwise, which I, honestly, do not believe either of us has got the guts to pull off.   
  
He brings the Green Tea to me, but his fingers linger on the cup when I take it.  
  
What is he up to?  
  
***  
  
I'm a fucking phyco. Hah. What am I doing, exactly? I don't know. I let my fingertips to linger on the cup for longer than I should and now his hand is over mine and he's giving me the most inquizitive look ever to grace the features of anyone I have ever encountered.   
  
The tea in the cup is piping hot, the steam's rising well over the containment. I'm surprised that the burning sensation that's felt on the palm of my hand doesn't bother me as much as it would.  
  
The phone rings.  
  
God damned thing...  
  
That sudden boisterous clack of noise caused me to flinch and the near boiling tea is spilled all over my hand as I rush for the phone. "Shit!" I curse as I pause when I realize I dropped the friggin' cup. I picked up the phone and without even thinking about who it could be, I murmur through gritted teeth, "You've reached the machine. Talk as long as you want. Wait for the click." I hung up. Screw them, whoever they were.   
  
I look at my hand. Creepiest sight I ever did see: my skin's been burnt, alright, but it's also bubbled sort of, since that shit was so fucking hot. My skin bubbled. Hah. How sick does that sound? Not pretty, huh?  
  
"Oh, no!" he gasps and reaches forward, carefull not to touch the burnt skin. He takes me by the wrist and inspects the nasty thing. "This is awful! I'm so sorry!"  
  
"It wasn't your fault."  
  
First Aid Kit. Cream. Bandage. He did it all. I never really cared to learn how. Hah.  
  
We clean up the mess and he resumes his spot back on the edge of my bed and I pull up a chair in front of him and ack, "So... You wanna play cards or something?"  
  
"Sure." He smiles again. Fake.  
  
I pick up the cards with the unburnt hand (hah) off of the table behind me and we decide to play poker, of course. What else is there, huh?  
  
It's later. Maybe two hours later from when we started playing. I never bothered to look at the clock. He won again, I just know it. Well, looket his face. He's got that all knowing omniscient smile across his face, fake again, but still, you can tell. He puts his cards down. I had a Full House.   
  
***  
  
I think I should tell him. I really do. I have a Royal Flush in the Hearts suit. Hearts; Love. I should tell him that I love him. This would be a good time to say that, wouldn't it? Oh, shit, who am I kidding... What am I thinking? I'm thinking about him again. Day dream. Oh... Alright, that isn't the greatest thing to think about when he's sitting right in front of you. Ah. I'm going to do it. Just watch.  
  
"I've got a Royal Flush," I announce with a false smile.  
  
"Shit, how in the world do you do that!?" he stammers and lays down the Full House that was in his hand.   
  
I call his name out and then say I need to talk to him about something suddenly. It's a sudden cup of drama added to the scenario, which doesn't really effect him to such an extent that he shows it on his face. I sigh.   
  
"I... I...," I began but no other words came. I wanted with all of my heart to scream out that I loved him. I loved him to the end of the universe and back. I wanted to hold him and kiss him when he awoke from a nightmare and he was crying from the terrible dream. Warui Yume. I wanted to whisper things in his ear that no woman would ever tell him. No woman that he ever slept with, anyway. From the things that he tells me, he only sleeps with women because he won at poker at the bar. And when I ask him who they were, I might have known them, he says he didn't even ask their names. What if that's the way it would be with me? What if we did sleep together for one night? Would it just be a fuck or would he really make love to me? Would he fuck me? Would he? Or would it just be a friendly act to ease the pain that we both have? No. If, ever, we do sleep together, I want there to be love, and lots of it. I long for him, and I have been, for what feels like forever. But then again, I could never love anyone else ever again. How could this tiny heart of mine possibly find love again after all of the sins that I have commited? Maybe it's because Gojyo is different from everyone else I have ever met. Yes, that must be it.  
  
"You what?" His words interupted my random train of thought and I lost it in the dark of a tunnel for a moment when I suddenly remembered I was in the middle of a sentence.   
  
"I...," I began again. Come on. I can do this. I can do this. Just tell him that you love him. You can do it. Come on! "I..." Almost there! Come on! Don't stop now! "I think maybe that's enough cards for now."   
  
Shit.  
  
"Yeah, I was waiting for you to say something like that," he laughed. Oh, but you weren't waiting for what I planned on saying. I don't even think he knows anything about me loving him the way that I do. I mean he's the one that's practically flirting with me all the time... Does that mean anything? I hope it does.  
  
I laughed along with him until the laughter died down and the house was silent. Or, I could say that the room was silent but his house is so small. If you say "the room was silent", you're probably refering to the entire house, then. Ha ha.  
  
"Um...," I started again but I knew that I would choke so when he asked what, I just replied with a casual, "Nothing."  
  
"You're acting funny today." That hit me. I am? Does he know? How can he? He would have asked me about it if he knew, or even if he had the slightest hunch, wouldn't he? I do want him to know, though.  
  
"I... I am?" I blush instantly. Oh, but the chain gets even worse. He leans over and places his good hand over my forehead and lifts my head up to look at him.  
  
"You feel fine."  
  
I wanted to say something right then but then he pressed his lips to my forehead and left them there for a good five seconds before removing them and looking at me again, locking our eyes.   
  
"Then again," he began with a light smile, "maybe not. You're burning up."  
  
"I am?" Damn, is that all that I can say?  
  
"Yeah," he said. "Here; get under the covers. I'll go out for a minute to buy some Cold Medicine."  
  
"Alright..."  
  
*End Part First*  
  
Please review. Part Second shall be up shortly. 


	2. Sho Ni

Title: For You Gift  
  
Author: ShaGojyoxChoHakkaiYaoiLvr  
  
Part: Second of Third  
  
Rating: PG - 13  
  
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki  
  
Date: Began June 6, 2003; Ended June 10  
  
Pairing: (let's use our brains... try to figure it out)  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language  
  
Notes: My second actual Saiyuki fic. I'm just a hyper-active caffeine powered thriteen year old that plays solitaire too much and watches too much Lupin III for it to be good for my health. Ha ha. Please review and let me know what you think of it. Oh, and if you like this short fic, please read my other one entitled "Born to Be My Baby".  
  
It alternates between the characters' POV's.  
  
___________  
  
Part Second  
  
Well, he stayed out later than I expected. For what reason, I am afraid I have no answer. I really wish he were back right now. It's starting to rain and I just got that nervous churning feeling in my stomach. I miss him already! I figure that when he comes home, I'll tell him. Yes, that's it! And I won't back down this time, either! Just watch me. I can do it.   
  
I got up out of bed and, despite the headache and congestion that plagued me, I decided to try to think about how I was going to break it to him. Should I just go all out and say it straight to his face or should I wait and just spill my guts out in the middle of a conversation?   
  
"Alright...," I began. "I don't know how to say this, but..." No, no, that was all wrong. "I think that maybe I should let you know..." No, that's no good either. Ah! I can't think straight. "Well, see, after these few years of living with you, I kind of..." Damn it, why is this so hard!? "Look, I think that I should let you know..."  
  
"Let me know what?" came his voice from behind me and my ranting and raving self.   
  
"Ah!" I jump up a good foot before I finally resume living in the real world and remember that he asked me a question and I needed an answer... fast. "Ah... You scared me!"  
  
"What did you want to tell me?"  
  
"I... wanted... to tell you...," I stammered. Come on, you told yourself that you were going to do this. Go for it! Just tell him! You can do this! You can do this! "I... wanted to... tell you... that...," I stopped there and began coughing, bent over with both hands over my mouth.  
  
"Hey, are you alright?"  
  
"Maybe... erm... I'm contagious." Whoo, nice save, ass. You promised yourself that you were going to tell him!   
  
"Look, I don't give a damn if you're contagious. I care if you're gonna be okay!" He put both of his hands on my shoulders and shook me in the middle of his sentence. After he finished speaking, I finished coughing. "You feel lousy, well, I went out and bought you some Cold Medicine and some soup. Okay? Just lay down for now and relax. We don't want it getting worse." He motioned toward the bed and helped me underneath the covers.  
  
I blushed instantly but pulled the covers up to cover my face in more of a shy manner than anything. He laughed at this with a light - hearted smile and then grabbed the grocery bag he had brought home and went into the tiny kitchen of the house. "Oh, and I bought more Green Tea. See, I heard from somewhere that if you drink a lot of herbal tea, your immune system reacts five times quicker."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, so no more coffee until you're better."  
  
We both laughed and I heard him pull open a packet of some powdered substance. Obviously, it was the soup, since he added water and put it into the microwave.   
  
He cares for me more than I thought. Maybe not in the romantic way, but enough to take care of me like a guardian when I'm ill. I smiled.  
  
***  
  
He smiled for some reason. I could see that from under the covers of the bed. Remember when I said I could never stop looking at him? Yeah.  
  
I reached into the paper bag and pulled out a small bottle of the Cold Medicine and reached for a spoon to measure it. He sneezed.   
  
"Bless you!" I said, astonished at how bad that sneeze sounded.   
  
"Thank you," he replied, sounding stuffed up and congested.   
  
"There's a box of tissues on the night - stand next to the bed," I instructed. He sneezed again and reached for one.   
  
You know, he has the cutest sneeze. Did you know that? He really does. It's short and high - pitched like a kitten's. Well, come on, the man is drop - dead - gorgeous. Everything he does it cute.  
  
"Hey, sorry about the personal question, but about how much do you weigh?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You know, the instructions say the amount of medicine depending on the weight of the person. Gotta know how much you need."  
  
"Oh. Somewhere around one - hundred - fifty pounds."  
  
"Alright. Three teaspoons."  
  
The microwave went off with a repeated beeping noise. It got real redundant after a while.  
  
"That'll have to cool before I stir it and microwave it again," I said. I sauntered over to his bedside and knelt down next to him, unscrewing the cap to the medicine bottle.  
  
"Oh, really, you don't have to," he protested when I held a spoon full of the liquid up to him.  
  
"Come on, now, I know how the flu makes your whole body feel like Jell-O."   
  
He laughed and swallowed the medicine. Another spoonful and he commented, "You know, I feel like a little kid again."  
  
"Aw, come on, who says you're not?" I asked with a goofy grin. I poured another spoonful of the medicine and gave it to him before screwing the cap on but then I got a second thought. I poured some of the stuff into the spoon and stuffed it down my own throat. "Alright. Don't wanna catch what you got."  
  
We both smiled.   
  
I got up and put the medicine in a cabinet in the kitchen and stirred the soup in the microwave, then put it in for another three minutes.  
  
He started into another bad fit of coughs, both hands over his mouth and him hunched over. That worried me. He didn't sound too healthy. I ran forward and put a hand to his shoulder and then, when he had finished coughing, I put my lips to his forehead again. He always blushed when I did that. He felt even hotter than before and he was sweating pretty badly. I took my lips away from his head and turned worried eyes to his exhausted face.  
  
"You're even worse than before!" I exclaimed.   
  
A weak smile graced his parted lips as his breathing hurried.   
  
"Here, this might help you feel better," I offered as I undid two of the buttons of his shirt and parted the cloth to the side to relieve some of the heat from his chest.   
  
I had to get up right then to go into the kitchen since I could feel myself flush red hot. Did he really just let me do that? Unbutton his shirt and he didn't even ask! But he has got the most beautiful neck! Shit, I would give absolutely anything if I could press my lips to his neck and hear him gasp as I kiss him there. My hand flew over my mouth and, luckily, he wasn't able to see me from my current location in the corner of the kitchen. I wanted an excuse for running into the kitchen right then. Um... The soup wasn't done yet. Two minutes to go, yet.   
  
He called my name from the bed. He sounded so weak and helpless when he did, I swear, the only thing I could think of doing was going to him and putting my arms around him, pulling him close, kissing him... but, of course, my gut never listened to my heart and I didn't do any of the above.   
  
My name was called again, followed by a gag and a cough and I rushed to his bedside immidiately. "What is it?" I asked but he answered with an action: his hands flew over his mouth and he sat straight up and I reached for a pale, a bucket, anything. There's one in the bathroom, with brushes and shit in it for cleaning the soapscum off of the shower tiles. I darted for that and dumped the krud out, neverminding where it fell and I put the bucket on his lap. His hands flew to the sides of the bucket and I kept mine there. I worked one of them free and held his hand as he vomitted into the bucket. My other hand found it's way to his back and I patted his shoulder and whispered things like, "It's okay" into his ear. He kept going. Finally, as he stopped, I got up and came back with a warm wash cloth that I had soaked and I removed the bucket from the bed and put it to the side. I wiped off his mouth and told him to blow his nose into the thing.   
  
"I should have asked this earlier...," he whispered, his eyes nearly shut as I picked up the bucket of puke to flush down the toilet.   
  
"What?"  
  
"What exactly was that medicine?"  
  
"Amoxocilin."  
  
"Ah..."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I can't keep that stuff down is all." He gave me another weak smile that made me want to break down and cry. How in the world does he find the stregnth to smile no matter what the situation?  
  
I dumped the vomit in the toilet and flushed it down when the microwave went off and I put the bucket in the sink in the bathroom to wash it out. Ran to the microwave. Took the soup out. Set it on the counter to cool. Ran back to the bathroom. Shut off the water. Let the bucket soak. Look at me go.  
  
I came back to the bed and pulled up a chair next to him, sitting down with a determination of something that went, oh, maybe, "I'm not letting you leave my sight until you're better."  
  
"Really...?" he breathes.   
  
"Well, this certainly is no Head Cold."  
  
"Eh..."  
  
"You feel pretty tired, huh?"  
  
"Yeah..."   
  
I got the wash cloth and rinsed it out before I poured cool water from the sink faucet over it and I came back to him. I smiled and ran the cold cloth across his forehead and delecate neck, down to the exposed area of his chest that I had uncovered in order to let him cool down somewhat.  
  
***  
  
He's unbelievably gentle.   
  
I can just fall asleep just like that, with him running the wash cloth over my exhausted body and I can just lay there. I can trust him. He won't hurt me. I know that.  
  
"You know, you have really pretty eyes." That shocked me. What did he mean... exactly?  
  
"I... I do?"   
  
"Yeah..."  
  
I blushed. He laughed again. He must know that I love him. How could he miss it? I sneezed again and he seized up a tissue and wiped my nose for me. I can't believe it! Here I am feeling like a dead man, no strength left to even cough without a chestpain and he's taking care of me like this! The man I love is taking care of me. Oh, God, please, don't let me ever wake up from this dream. This paradise.  
  
Before I know it, he is at my side again, with the bowl of soup and giving it to me bit by bit. He's so caring, so gentle, when he wants to be. I still can't believe that he's right there beside me, feeding me, and tending to my weak and exhausted body. And the expression on his face didn't change from being absorbed in what he was doing. We kept our eyes locked the entire time...  
  
He put the empty soup bowl in the sink, washed it, dried it, put it away, and was at the bedside seconds later.   
  
I think we both knew what was coming next...  
  
*End Part Second*  
  
Please read and review. Part Third shall be up shortly. 


	3. Sho San

Title: For You Gift  
  
Author: ShaGojyoxChoHakkaiYaoiLvr  
  
Part: Third of Third  
  
Rating: PG - 13  
  
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki  
  
Date: Began June 6, 2003; Ended June 10, 2003  
  
Pairing: (let's use our brains... try to figure it out)  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language  
  
Notes: My second actual Saiyuki fic. I'm just a hyper-active caffeine powered thriteen year old that plays solitaire too much and watches too much Lupin III for it to be good for my health. Ha ha. Please review and let me know what you think of it. Oh, and if you like this short fic, please read my other one entitled "Born to Be My Baby".  
  
_____________________  
  
"Gojyo..."  
  
"Hakkai..."  
  
Both men sat unmoving, completely, their gazes set solely upon each other and they both knew that they were going to say it right then and there. There was no doubt in either of their minds that they were going to do it.  
  
Gojyo reached forward and put one hand to one of the brunette's cheeks, stroking it lightly with his thumb. "You're still hot."  
  
"So are you...," came Hakkai's whispered answer. "Oh, Gojyo..."  
  
"Hakkai..." Gojyo paused. He didn't know what to say. If he turned back now, it would hurt... not just him, but Hakkai, too, and he knew it. He leant forward slightly  
  
and brushed his lips against the other man's in a feather soft kiss.  
  
It wasn't hard. It wasn't passionate, but a loving kiss that was shared between the two. After all, Gojyo didn't exactly know what Hakkai had gone through before...  
  
Hakkai couldn't believe it. Gojyo had kissed him! He kissed him! Then does that mean...?  
  
"Gojyo?" Hakkai inquired timidly after another feather - light kiss was stroked against his lips.  
  
"Yes?" Gojyo asked as he gently ran one hand through the soft mess of mahogany coloured hair. 'Damn, it's actually softer than I imagined,' Gojyo thought. 'Softer than any rabbit's fur or down feather I've ever felt.'  
  
"Do...," Hakkai began but bit his bottom lip as his eyes became glassy with tears. Was he going to cry? No. Why would he cry at a time like this? Fear? Fear of rejection? That was why he asked the question, though: "Gojyo... Do... Do you love me?"  
  
Gojyo paused everything he was doing. Even his breathing stopped and he witnessed a tear run its way down one of the brunette's cheeks, leaving a glazed glitter path to carve its was down the peachy skin. He wondered if they were tears of joy... or fear?  
  
He kissed him again.  
  
Both. Joy and Fear.  
  
When the half - breed pulled back, he held the other man close to him and whispered in his ear, "Yes... Yes, Hakkai, I do."  
  
The green - eyed man was amazed. All of his longing and pining for Gojyo was not just a feeling, but an instict, perhaps. His lips and embrace did not feel as alien as he thought they would but he was surprised and adored it all the same. He loved it. He loved all of it.   
  
The rain that had started to paint the landscape a while ago had, by now, grown harder and was tapping incesantly on the window, almost demanding to be let in; but the happy couple within the residence of which the rain was the hardest seemed oblivious to the weather as all they did was sit on the edge of the bed and hold each other, crying into each other's shoulders. Hakkai was situated at the edge and Gojyo leant over him, straddling one of his legs and his face burried into one of Hakkai's shoulders. The brunette's hands were fastened to Gojyo's back, clutching lightly at the shirt with the far - too - familiar skull designs.   
  
"Doesn't your hand hurt?" Hakkai spoke up randomly.  
  
"The burn?" Gojyo whispered. "No... Not anymore."  
  
The half - breed pulled back slightly and delivered another kiss to Hakkai's lips, but this time, a more passionate one. His tongue delved its way into the brunette's mouth with no protest from either of them and began to explore. Hakkai groaned. He still didn't believe it. All of those times when he thought that Gojyo would never love him because Gojyo was a lady's man and playboy -- all of those times when he woke up from a nightmare of losing him because he was rejected -- everything: they were all nothing. All of the negative thoughts and bad dreams...  
  
'Oh, Gojyo,' Hakkai thought. 'Gojyo... I love you so much.'  
  
Gojyo had pressed Hakkai backward onto the bed gently and straddled both of his legs. The kissing became more and more passionate. The longing for one another that they both felt was about to explode.   
  
One of Hakkai's hands found its way to Gojyo's cheek again, pressing him deeper into the kiss. Once it touched his skin, however, Gojyo seized his hand in his and locked their fingers. He held both of their hands up in between them once he broke the passionate kiss and explained,  
  
"Hakkai, this is how I want us to be... forever. United forever."  
  
"Yes..." Hakkai smiled tenderly as he looked to their locked hands. The smile: it was true. Gojyo's heart melted. Hakkai gave him a real, genuine smile, no false or fake emotion added to his features; it was true. The first time that Gojyo had seen Hakkai wear a real smile... when he was happy for real.   
  
Gojyo leant forward but brought his lips to Hakkai's neck and began to suck on the flawless flesh softly. His tongue found its way all the way down to Hakkai's shoulder, which became more and more exposed when Gojyo's hands worked at the buttons of the brunette's lavendar shirt and began to push the cloth down.   
  
"Aren't you afraid that you might get sick, Gojyo?" Hakkai beamed.  
  
"I already caught something."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah... You. You're a disease... and there is no cure." He paused. "And even if there is, I don't want any." He continued to kiss Hakkai's shoulder as the brunette moaned. He absolutely loved the sensational feeling of Gojyo's mouth on his body.   
  
Gojyo's hand slid down Hakkai's shirt, exploring every curve of every muscle with his fingers. But once his hand travelled over Hakkai's scar, the green - eyed man's muscles tensed. Gojyo noticed and did his best to calm his lover down but it was no use as Hakkai's breathing hurried and he couldn't surpress the broken sob that escaped his lips. "St...Stop!"  
  
He pulled away.  
  
"H... Hakkai..." Gojyo was horrified. What had he done? He knew what terrible memories that scar had held. Why the hell did he run his hand over it?  
  
All of the horrible memories of Hakkai's past were reawakened as his hands came over his ears, trying their best to block out any sound that seemed to enter his head. "Stop!"  
  
"Hakkai..."  
  
"The rain!" Hakkai exclaimed through gritted teeth. "It sounds just like...," he gave something up then and dropped his hands, his entire body nearly going limp,"ringing..."  
  
Gojyo spoke, "Hakkai," again but all that he recieved was a sob as an answer. Hakkai was crying. But this time... out of pain. Not Fear. Not Joy. "I'm so sorry..."  
  
"It's not your fault, Gojyo...," Hakkai explained as he turned his gaze to the half - breed. "It's all my fault. I must be the biggest bastard that ever lived." He seemed to go into another world then as his sentences became short fragments, "Can't believe myself... Stupid... Can't believe... Sounds like ringing."  
  
Gojyo lunged forward and gathered Hakkai in his arms, his face buried in his chest. "Hakkai," Gojyo murmured. "Please... Don't say things like that. It's not true."  
  
"Yes it is," Hakkai stated almost darkly.   
  
"But you are Cho Hakkai." Gojyo pulled back and stared into the brunette's eyes. "Cho Gonou is dead. You are Cho Hakkai..." His face softened as tears threatened to run their way down his cheeks. "The man that I love..."  
  
That broke Hakkai's tranced state as his attention was all set in Gojyo's direction. "Gojyo..."  
  
"Please...," Gojyo asked," Let me love you."  
  
Hakkai gave something of a combination between a sob and a sigh as he reached forward with both hands and took Gojyo's face, pulling him toward him and he planted a passionate kiss on his lips.  
  
Gojyo's hand slid down Hakkai's shirt once more but stopped when he felt Hakkai's muscles tense up. The brunette's breathing was hurried and broken but he didn't tell Gojyo to stop. The red - haired man's face was painted with worry when he realized that his love was not settling down as he had planned.   
  
"It's alright...," Hakkai said, almost breathless. "Keep going." He smiled a true smile again.   
  
Gojyo smiled and nodded. He positioned Hakkai back down onto the bed once more and began kissing him.   
  
They were both naked and in each other's arms, breathing hard, panting in each other's ears. They were about to behold the beautiful unity that was love.   
  
"Hakkai, I love you...," Gojyo breathed into the brunette's ear as he awaited his lover's answer.  
  
"I love you, too... Gojyo."  
  
Gojyo locked their fingers again. Just like that. Locked; united.   
  
Forever.  
  
A Gift.  
  
For you  
  
For him  
  
For Both.  
  
*End Part Third*  
  
~End Fanfiction~  
  
Author Notes:  
  
I would like to thank you for taking your time to read this. I would thank you even more if you reviewed it, too. *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*  
  
If you liked this, please also read my other fanfic on fanfiction.net entitled "Born to Be My Baby". It's still in progress but I do not know for sure what exactly I am going to do about Chapter 10. Please read that if you liked this. Review that, too.  
  
A celebration gift for all of my friends and myself for finishing seventh grade. Don't worry. The fic will be bigger and better when we finally finish middle school. Ha. Can't wait.  
  
Until next time,  
  
-Your author: Tokitoh Minoru a.k.a. ShaGojyoxChoHakkaiYaoiLvr  
  
Ai to Heiwa! (Aishiteru Vashy-kins)  
  
P.S.  
  
I may continue this if I get enough reviews. 


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